Stories heard from the otherside

I've never been able to let go.  Problems of the past swirl around my soul like spirits of the netherworld. Love ferments in my dreams stifling my sleep.  I put the weight of the world's problems on my shoulders.  Cursing myself in the shower on why I would make such mistakes today, or why I couldn't of just said the right thing in that moment.  I'm a student of human nature who refuses to let myself be human.  Doomed to a life of wondering what more could I have done, and weighed heavy by the awareness of the true answer to that.  My desire to be good hinders my ability to move on.  Consumed by the vision of beauty behind the macabre.  Only to be dragged underneath in the dirt and mud feeling sorry for the very decision I made.  This forever loop predicates my fear of being alone, yet fully submerging myself in loneliness.  Placing a mask over my head as I walk out, letting unsuspecting creatures only see what the chameleon wants....

And who knows what type of garment I would be in that scenario; fingers crossed for something better then smelly socks! I've been out of pocket for a minute and I don't have any real stories to go on for now but I did mention I'd write about Divorced dad life at some time. For all you fellas looking to live vicariously through me in my life of sex drugs and rock 'n roll putting notches on my bed post, I think you'll be surely saddened, or maybe disappointed. Disappointed is a good word that will lure me into a rabbit hole in a bit. For starters, I'm not good at dating, period. It requires a level careless that I lack. Maybe careless isn't the right word but rather Careful.  I'm not careful, my life long decisions would map that out quite well, I rely on fate to right wrongs and I keep a  solid sleeve of heart at all times.  I can't help but get invested, regardless of how much is has been reinvested in me.  Every shirt I grab out of the hamper is t...