Stories heard from the otherside

I grew up in the Catholic Church, and I mean literally grew up at the catholic church.  My mother worked for St John's so at the very minimum I'd say a large chunk of who I am and how I act stems for the countless hours at that very said church.  Let me just start off saying the action of church, the "verb state" of actually going to mass has been something I've generally liked. I use to as a kid pretend to be my own Umpire counting how many "strikes" aka Mother glances, parental pinches I would get in the one hour required to sit still. So the very act of being catholic I've generally appreciated. Growing up in the church meant a heightened level of understanding not just the bible but what Good truly means.  Many a weekend my siblings and I were asked (Voluntold!) to do many a service projects for the church.  From stacking chairs before Christmas Mass, Emptying trash in the classrooms after Sunday school, or just sitting quietly in the courtyard...

I've been attempting to write this for the better part of a month so forgive me at this point it's now 1 year and 3 weeks, insert shrug emoji! A year ago doesn't really do it justice, because the life I have been living started before the papers were signed, before my lease was agreed before silent days and angry nights.  I knew at some point that self reflection and self awareness is only mindless thoughts unless actions are tied to it. And yet here I am a year and some change removed from looking at white picket fence houses in Saginaw to slummin it up in a 1 bedroom apartment on the west side of fort worth LOL. I need George Jefferson to help me move up to the East Side to that Deluxe Apartment. A year later now I can take a moment to look back and see my growth, appreciate my struggles and triumph my successes.  To me a level of self awareness becomes the greatest key to growth.  I remember when I moved out I was sleeping on my sons mini mattress on the floor feel...