Stories heard from the otherside

It's amazing the last time I blogged and today, how the world has changed. Corona has landed and created such an impact on our lives. I use to say this was just the world taking a sick day but it's turned into more. As we move forward into this new life there are far more questions than answers. It was amazing to see as I traveled how life has been put on pause. Walking airports that are boarded up, flights with more crew than passengers. Snow capped road with but a few mere tracks on it. Hours would go by in a store that would normally bustling and not a soul would stir.  All who did come had a plan, an agenda for their trip, many as it would seem to be on a pilgrimage to find that one item.  It puts into perspective of how we have lived our lives and the privilege we may not see even to the trained eye.  One day I remember thinking it's like a bomb went off and everyone has hunkered down into bomb shelters.  We forget there are places today that this new normal for...

I'm terrible at it. I'll always be the first one to admit I'm a bit flakey. I'm always up for a challenge but sometimes I need a gentle push in that direction. Fairly evident of said flakiness is this very blog. My brain is often more complicated than a Christopher Nolan movie.  I'm a natural campaigner and if I don't feel as if I'm "winning" my mind moves to the next thing that I can champion.  I also need a vibe, I need that flicker. I need to feel that steps are moving my way, and if it doesn't I'm equally quick to jump overboard. I would not have fared well on the Titanic.  And not that I'm just terrible at it (dating) my mind is quick to concoct romanticize any look my way.  Which when I was 20 that was great I had all the time in the world to date, no matter what length. One year, five years time didn't matter when you have the whole world in the palm of your hand.  Now at 35 I think to myself ooh do I really want to fight abo...

As 2020 was approaching I, along with many others surely got suckered down the nostalgia hole, musing how life has changed in the decade's past. Beyond the fact that facebook has been taken over by boomers and now snapchat and tiktok has turned me into a boomer.  It's quite amazing how time in a vacuum seems to drag along, it's easy to say 100 years would take forever yet 10 years gathered moment like snow on a mountain. A simple nudge and its' speed picks up with blinding momentum to think that 10 years from today I'll be 45 edging near 50 almost feels out of body. At 25 the world seemed so big and the "adults" in my life or everyone's life always seemed to have things figured out. Now at 35 I know "those adults figures" is me now and the secret really is no one has life figured out. We're all out here accidentally taking front facing selfies, hoping our kids don't turn out to be morons and red-faced for calling our new co-worker t...

Ode to the Otherside Part of my thought process in this blog initially this year was not just to tell other people stories in my own words (in which I didn't achieve at all but hey there's always 2020). But also talk about the other side of Divorce, or the other side of Parenthood, maybe even the other side of Love. Not to say Moms get the majority of the play or the majority of the prose but their tales of woe are often much more heartfelt or deserving a monomentus amounts of praise because being a Mom is by far the hardest line of work. Dad's don't necessarily get shafted persay but beyond Bambi generally in most movies when a parent has to die or leave it's generally the father. See case study of any Wes Anderson movie also see such Disney movies not unlike Lion King. But I digress that's not what I really want to yap about today. How about the otherside of single. A lot of times, I get a question or passing glance as to why I am not living the bache...

I grew up in the Catholic Church, and I mean literally grew up at the catholic church.  My mother worked for St John's so at the very minimum I'd say a large chunk of who I am and how I act stems for the countless hours at that very said church.  Let me just start off saying the action of church, the "verb state" of actually going to mass has been something I've generally liked. I use to as a kid pretend to be my own Umpire counting how many "strikes" aka Mother glances, parental pinches I would get in the one hour required to sit still. So the very act of being catholic I've generally appreciated. Growing up in the church meant a heightened level of understanding not just the bible but what Good truly means.  Many a weekend my siblings and I were asked (Voluntold!) to do many a service projects for the church.  From stacking chairs before Christmas Mass, Emptying trash in the classrooms after Sunday school, or just sitting quietly in the courtyard...

I've been attempting to write this for the better part of a month so forgive me at this point it's now 1 year and 3 weeks, insert shrug emoji! A year ago doesn't really do it justice, because the life I have been living started before the papers were signed, before my lease was agreed before silent days and angry nights.  I knew at some point that self reflection and self awareness is only mindless thoughts unless actions are tied to it. And yet here I am a year and some change removed from looking at white picket fence houses in Saginaw to slummin it up in a 1 bedroom apartment on the west side of fort worth LOL. I need George Jefferson to help me move up to the East Side to that Deluxe Apartment. A year later now I can take a moment to look back and see my growth, appreciate my struggles and triumph my successes.  To me a level of self awareness becomes the greatest key to growth.  I remember when I moved out I was sleeping on my sons mini mattress on the floor feel...