Jesus; "Who is your daddy and what does he do" -- Arnold Schwarzenegger --
I grew up in the Catholic Church, and I mean literally grew up at the catholic church. My mother worked for St John's so at the very minimum I'd say a large chunk of who I am and how I act stems for the countless hours at that very said church. Let me just start off saying the action of church, the "verb state" of actually going to mass has been something I've generally liked. I use to as a kid pretend to be my own Umpire counting how many "strikes" aka Mother glances, parental pinches I would get in the one hour required to sit still. So the very act of being catholic I've generally appreciated.
Growing up in the church meant a heightened level of understanding not just the bible but what Good truly means. Many a weekend my siblings and I were asked (Voluntold!) to do many a service projects for the church. From stacking chairs before Christmas Mass, Emptying trash in the classrooms after Sunday school, or just sitting quietly in the courtyard patiently awaiting a parent to finish up whatever job they had to get done. Some of my earliest memories that I can still vividly remember is sitting in the St John's courtyard by the cafeteria and looking at the stone statue of Mary, in between chasing or more likely getting chased by my brother. I would say there was a level of security that I felt even if I never even fully understood what it all meant. Church at that time meant family time, post church visits to the grandparents house, sitting next to aunts and uncles, sacramental parties (how that's even a thing I have no idea but sure nothing says party like a first communion). Once again all this to say that growing up being catholic was an important part of our family, all around. Even if the word faith may not have been something I actually had realized.
The church was important to my mom. My mom was important to me. So much like any math equation add those two sums up and you get Tim spent quite a bit of time at church. There were many summer days that I opted to go to work and hang out at the church versus hanging around the house or riding bikes with the neighborhood kids. Even just typing that out makes me feel more of a nerd than I probably ever noticed. But whatever I quite liked stomping around the school, and church, also sneakily my mom would buy me many a movie tickets to the theater at the north hills mall (regardless of rating) and I would just walk back afterwards. So again a lot of backstory on the church and building up how it circled my childhood which I promise will all lead to something eventually.
Mom died. It happens. Church became a resolution for me after that, I would go by myself as a way to keep on with the legacy. Likely a way to honor the hard work that was put into her trying to mold me into a good little catholic boy. And I did that for years. Than I stopped. For a brief moment in time I got irritated with "God" and "Church" the whole "God's Plan" that ideology never settled well within me. Nothing in this world can be planned, it's far too unpredictable. But I've always held onto fate and hope during that time. Church and God eventually came back and now as I have kids and I drag them to church every Sunday it feels like life is coming full circle. But now this is where everything I've said starts coming into play.
I don't have strong feelings on whatever religion they may choose to be growing up. At this point in my life Catholic has become more about keeping the honor to my mom than a stern regiment that I live by. I don't agree with many things that are important to the church, and much like everyone I struggle with the thought of Why we are here, how are we self aware, what is beyond the inevitable. These are all thoughts everyone should wrestle with because they are questions that have no real answers. Someone recently asked me why I take my kids to church, and I said at the end of the day everyone needs at least 1 hour a week to self reflect and to keep their mouth shut. And that's when I said they don't have to be catholic when they're adults life is ever flowing and no one can know what path it will eventually take, I'm not going to harbor any negativity for someone to change their belief habits.
So who is God? It's different for everyone. I've never held firm to the thought of a Person is solely good based on that one question. And I believe it's something we should use to humble ourselves. The answer to that question can change substantially moment to moment. I've gone from leading the parade to loitering near the exit on just a thursday afternoon. A death, job loss, good date, good sex, late night talks with friends or in mid prayer can sway how you feel about that Man or at least it has with me. I'm sure there are many people who live with strong fortitude about grace, but even his own disciples waned and waxed in their own resolutions.
So who is Jesus? What exactly does his Dad do? There are no answers for me, or anyone lest you've died, or lived in waco during the 90s or followed Charles Manson around in the 70s, there are no windows to peak through. To me it's recalling those young summer days by that St. Mary statue, it's building that idea of what being good looks like, and it's an opportunity for my kids to see me taking moments to reflect. And at the end of the week maybe it's just an easy way to sit for an hour quietly, letting the mind wander on that very question.
Also since you read all that bologna and I promise eventually I’ll get back to funny or profound memories be it mine or someone else eventually. And here’s a picture of me lookin fly AF
Growing up in the church meant a heightened level of understanding not just the bible but what Good truly means. Many a weekend my siblings and I were asked (Voluntold!) to do many a service projects for the church. From stacking chairs before Christmas Mass, Emptying trash in the classrooms after Sunday school, or just sitting quietly in the courtyard patiently awaiting a parent to finish up whatever job they had to get done. Some of my earliest memories that I can still vividly remember is sitting in the St John's courtyard by the cafeteria and looking at the stone statue of Mary, in between chasing or more likely getting chased by my brother. I would say there was a level of security that I felt even if I never even fully understood what it all meant. Church at that time meant family time, post church visits to the grandparents house, sitting next to aunts and uncles, sacramental parties (how that's even a thing I have no idea but sure nothing says party like a first communion). Once again all this to say that growing up being catholic was an important part of our family, all around. Even if the word faith may not have been something I actually had realized.
The church was important to my mom. My mom was important to me. So much like any math equation add those two sums up and you get Tim spent quite a bit of time at church. There were many summer days that I opted to go to work and hang out at the church versus hanging around the house or riding bikes with the neighborhood kids. Even just typing that out makes me feel more of a nerd than I probably ever noticed. But whatever I quite liked stomping around the school, and church, also sneakily my mom would buy me many a movie tickets to the theater at the north hills mall (regardless of rating) and I would just walk back afterwards. So again a lot of backstory on the church and building up how it circled my childhood which I promise will all lead to something eventually.
Mom died. It happens. Church became a resolution for me after that, I would go by myself as a way to keep on with the legacy. Likely a way to honor the hard work that was put into her trying to mold me into a good little catholic boy. And I did that for years. Than I stopped. For a brief moment in time I got irritated with "God" and "Church" the whole "God's Plan" that ideology never settled well within me. Nothing in this world can be planned, it's far too unpredictable. But I've always held onto fate and hope during that time. Church and God eventually came back and now as I have kids and I drag them to church every Sunday it feels like life is coming full circle. But now this is where everything I've said starts coming into play.
I don't have strong feelings on whatever religion they may choose to be growing up. At this point in my life Catholic has become more about keeping the honor to my mom than a stern regiment that I live by. I don't agree with many things that are important to the church, and much like everyone I struggle with the thought of Why we are here, how are we self aware, what is beyond the inevitable. These are all thoughts everyone should wrestle with because they are questions that have no real answers. Someone recently asked me why I take my kids to church, and I said at the end of the day everyone needs at least 1 hour a week to self reflect and to keep their mouth shut. And that's when I said they don't have to be catholic when they're adults life is ever flowing and no one can know what path it will eventually take, I'm not going to harbor any negativity for someone to change their belief habits.
So who is God? It's different for everyone. I've never held firm to the thought of a Person is solely good based on that one question. And I believe it's something we should use to humble ourselves. The answer to that question can change substantially moment to moment. I've gone from leading the parade to loitering near the exit on just a thursday afternoon. A death, job loss, good date, good sex, late night talks with friends or in mid prayer can sway how you feel about that Man or at least it has with me. I'm sure there are many people who live with strong fortitude about grace, but even his own disciples waned and waxed in their own resolutions.
So who is Jesus? What exactly does his Dad do? There are no answers for me, or anyone lest you've died, or lived in waco during the 90s or followed Charles Manson around in the 70s, there are no windows to peak through. To me it's recalling those young summer days by that St. Mary statue, it's building that idea of what being good looks like, and it's an opportunity for my kids to see me taking moments to reflect. And at the end of the week maybe it's just an easy way to sit for an hour quietly, letting the mind wander on that very question.
Also since you read all that bologna and I promise eventually I’ll get back to funny or profound memories be it mine or someone else eventually. And here’s a picture of me lookin fly AF
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